As we start to get to at least a reduced level of pandemic response and gradually find out some semblance of our old life. I wanted to write a piece on all the struggles I face on a daily basis, so that I can bring you some peace in knowing that it isn’t only you going through these challenging times.
Loneliness
I never thought I was someone that needed to be around people all the time, and at times in the past I have retreated from social events, even ones I have organised. During the last few months I have really missed human contact. I have struggled with the lack of the usual interaction I was actually used to but didn’t know it. I tried using zoom meetings and various other things, but nothing compares to training with your friends and going out for a drink to a pub (even if it’s just a diet coke, the drink isn’t the point).
Insecurity/Self doubt
When everything changed I felt a surge of insecurity, I felt that I hadn’t done enough to prepare for this and when my business had to close I was worried about the future in general. I wondered what would happen next, can I adapt? How will this end? Maybe I was doing everything wrong?
Deeper introspection
This one I hadn’t expected, it felt like I was frozen in time waiting for things to happen and suddenly I had to really look at myself and where I was. I think in some ways I was distracting myself by.a lot of what I was doing and missing some key mistakes I was making. I had to look at my relationships with friends and family and quickly saw cracks that I had been avoiding seeing. I looked at myself and saw more of my own flaws in how I do things like work, training, and my mind in general.
Things I have learned to help me move forward
I want to say this has been a terrible year and that it is sad that this virus has taken so many lives. It has shifted the world in so many unforeseen ways from the protests and a shift in politics and social interactions, these seem to mirror my own struggles above on a grander scale. There are positive things I have taken from this.
Appreciate your social interactions
We need each other, we need to help each other grow and do great things or just laugh together. We need places to go and eat and drink and hear the bustle of other people we are yet to meet. We need places to go and train, do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or yoga, or learn a new hobby with other people. People are generally good, we may have opposing views and ideas but by doing things together we learn more than arguing, I feel positive actions break down more barriers than debating ever will. Don’t judge people you don’t know off of one comment or argument, we have spent a year arguing from home maybe it’s time for something different.
Do your best work at work and at home
We are always working whether we know it or not, I have always thought that even doing nothing takes the same mental energy as doing something, the fear of getting things wrong or worries of trying and failing keep us from getting to where we want in all aspects of our life. One thing this time has taught me is that I don’t want to coast in any aspect of my life or work and I want to keep trying and succeeding as even failure after trying is a success, it is as the cliche says a chance to learn. We literally fail all the time whether its doing one thing when we could have been doing something else to make things work faster. If we didn’t fail we would complete life in a couple of weeks.
Work hard at home too, hard work doesn’t mean it has to be dull the word hard is probably loaded with connotations of lots of energy being used and a struggle, but that’s not what I mean. I mean when you are at home If you watch something on Netflix really watch it. If you are chatting to friends really listen, enjoy everything you do, and don’t live in the future or the past so much.
Be ready for the future
Going slightly against what I said above but not really, be ready for the future. People are going to seem like assholes, the world is going to seem mean and tough accept this and work hard now. The nicer and kinder and more work you put in now the less you will be sucked in when people are mean or the world seems to attack you from all sides, yes it won’t be nice sometimes but you will have your own headspace to deal with whatever the world throws at you.
Starting Again
Every day we have the ability to start completely again without judgment or carrying over the mistakes of yesterday. Just try again to get the day right and the rest will follow.
Conclusion
I tried to keep this as broad as possible as the general issues and struggles I have had I know you all have some of these too, but that’s ok. If you are reading this, we are in it together and can hold each others hands on the parts of life we each have understood better than the other. If you see a friend getting distant contact them and see how they are doing. If you feel distant and have the energy, reach out.
This too shall pass :)